Burned wings

I flew to high and he burned to bright. My wings just burned. It happened, the worst I was expecting the inner pain is getting worse with every hour he is ignoring me. I thought I would never be without him, but in a way I knew one day I would. I hoped it would have happened later. The pain would have been worse than now.
I flew to high and he burned to bright. My wings just burned. It happened, the worst I was expecting the inner pain is getting worse with every hour he is ignoring me. I thought I would never be without him, but in a way I knew one day I would. I hoped it would have happened later. The pain would have been worse than now. I used to smile when I thought about him, messaged him. But the worst part of all this is seeing him online and knowing he will not write and you are to scared to annoy him again. It hurts seeing it, but at least the pain gets less.

Listening to music in public

There are some songs you can not listen to in public because people could see what you are listening to. The text is too inappropriate or it reminds you of your crush and you start blushing for no reason in public. Sitting next to your crush and then a song comes on that used to be yours and your ex one, that song just killed everything between you and your crush. Yesterday I was sitting in the bus next to a guy I used to love and than I listened to a song that is mine and my boyfriends I couldn't deal with it,I had to skip the song. It happens all the time to me because I listen to music very loud and I'm always scared someone could hear it.

When the wallflower gets the boy

In movies the never seen wallflowers get those really fame good looking guys.I always thought that could never be real.Lately I notice the attention I get from guys more than before, because one of them told me they all give me attention without me knowing it. That made me feel a little arogant and more importante than other. The reaction to all that was not really bringing me anywhere, nothing changed from one day to another but I start realizing more and more. The girls around me hate it that I get more attention than they get. They have always seen me as a wallflower and a girl that has no chance with boys. That changed a lot in the last half year of school, they hate it to see me with guys. The hate was sure from the beginning I knew that it wouldn't be easy and it gets more difficult but I'm still here. The hate is still growing and lately it got worse.

One Day

One day I stopped loving you and if you told me now you loved me I don't think I could love you again because the day I stopped loving you made me feel free and I could not again be adicted to you, I would never want that. But you know what I would hate you for being to late with loving me. You know who I would hate the most?  Myself because you were the one I only wanted and then I get the chance to have you and I am to scared to accept my feelings. Sometimes I miss the feeling of the butterflies when I saw you but than I realize that I am not addicted to you anymore and don't need you to be around to be happy.When I loved you I used to fall in a hole of sadness when you where not around. That was the worst of it all because you could not do anything about it. Looking back on it today I had phases where I was really happy and ones where I was really sad and it was difficult for the people around me, my friends to handle it.

Online

I thought you could never fall for someone you don't really know but you can. And you know what hurts the most?? You will never know who he really is you will always rely on what he writes and tells you. You will trust him more and more and he could one day hurt you so much that you think your life is over and you can not live with that huge pain. He will never know how much he means to you. You are so addicted waiting for him to answer. And the only reason you did all this was because you felt alone in your real life because it hurts but getting hurt by someone you trust so much ist even worse. Everyone keeps telling you there are only pedophiles on the Internet but they never tell you that you will meet a person you fall in love with and it kills you from the inside. This pain will stop one day because the person was never real but it takes time to be so disciplined to not talk to him any more. Around your real friends you never stop talking about him and everytime the question apears: do you like him?  The argument against it is always: why would I, I don't even know him. On the inside you will always know how badly you are in love with him.

Boy

You will never get what he feels for you and when you think you know you will not. I thought he liked me he was always writing hearts to me but he also did to every other girl. When I realized that it was like a cut in my heart it hurt so badly but after a time you get over it and the pain gets less. It made me feel high being sort of wanted and then that high feeling just breaks off and you hit the ground so hard that it takes a while for you to stand up. Still trying to be the one and wanting that feeling of highness back because it is the only thing that makes you feel better

Little Girl

Remember when you where small, looking up to those 16 year old girls they were always weird you never thought of being one of them. Those high school girls walking around in high heels and being totally proud of themselves. An now you aren't 6 anymore you are now that 16 year old girl you always thought was weird. You are now either one of those girls or the one that hates them all.   Well I am the one walking around in high heels and being proud of it. Back then those girls were smoking and I was so sure I would never do that, Here I am: a smoking, arrogant and bitchy teenager.